Pass the thyroid and break out the cat food, or how retiring will just have to wait
I used to
believe the old adage about retirement being the “golden years.” I envisioned
sprawling out in one of those cottagey Adirondack chairs with an iced tea, a
good book and a nap in between. Well, I have two of those chairs, albeit the
plastic version, but have yet to really sit down in them. And napping isn't really happening.
Today for
example, the morning began at the crack of dawn with a wake-up call by my dog
yipping to go outside. This generally means she needs to eat grass and vomit
and today was no exception. I always tread carefully first thing in the
morning, looking for hairballs or other surprise deposits by my three elderly
cats.
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| The old girl still likes a milk challenge. |
Then it was
on to pet feeding and medications, all with a specified order. First, the
largest cat with pancreatitis gets the less costly of two prescription cat
foods and awaits his meal in his designated spot – my bedroom. If he meows
after his first meal, he gets a second helping of the more costly food. The
youngest of the cats, a notoriously poor eater, gets fed in the bathroom. Some days,
she will eat on the first try, but generally I have to offer two or three
different foods before she will eat. Then, it’s time for the dog to eat in her
kennel so that I can feed the third cat without the dog grabbing her food.
Today, doggie is not hungry due to the aforementioned vomiting, but she still needs
to be locked up.
Then my oldest (18) and most frail cat gets her food, with quite a
lot of coaxing. She likes a powdery substance I sprinkle on her food for joint
pain, so the mornings are usually easier. Other times, I have to offer other
food choices and, just lately, roast chicken and sometimes pet her while she
eats. Since it’s a Monday, she needs a chemotherapy tablet to try to keep
her bladder cancer at bay. I have to wear a surgical glove to avoid getting any of the chemo on my hand, but at least she usually swallows it without too much trouble. Lots of treats afterward help. She also gets a potassium substance rubbed on her gums
three times daily. And, I typically have to help her with post-litter box
hygiene every now and then, because she sleeps on my bed most nights.
The two
female cats also need a thyroid supplement twice daily. One will take it in a
handy pill pocket, but the other one has to be pinned down while I attempt to
throw it down her throat. I take a thyroid supplement too, with far less
effort.
During this
routine, I text my daughter about her nearly-two-year-old daughter, who had
come down with a fever while we were returning from Mother’s Day festivities
the day before. We negotiate back and forth about childcare, as my daughter
needs to go to work but apparently feels I will catch the bug if I come over. I
remind her that I’m not old and frail and was already exposed the day before,
but she ultimately decides the child’s father is a better option.
I then hear
it’s supposed to rain by 11. Since my backyard looks like a hayfield, I decide to
quickly walk the dog around the block and then do the mowing. I also catch up
with my neighbor who had arrived home at 4 a.m. after being temporarily
stranded on a flight in Texas and another neighbor who is going through some
health challenges and who I want to remind that I am there for her.
Lawn mowed,
I do two errands for my mom – mail out a book donation to two libraries and buy
a razor. I find one that I think she can operate, with a big on/off button she
can see even with her macular degeneration. And I pick up some photos my
daughter ordered for a wonderful photo album she made me for Mother’s Day.
During the day, my phone stays at the ready. My daughter and I constantly “talk”
this way and share photos through texting and I stay in touch with other
friends and my daughter in Italy through email. How did we ever exist before
the constant “binging” of this contraption.
I try to
eat my meals while either reading or watching the news, and my book of choice
currently is “Not That Kind of Girl” by “Girls” star Lena Dunham. I don’t have
the level of cable coverage I need to actually watch her show, but in my
opinion she kinda is that kind of girl I would expect for a 20-something.
After
lunch, I get a medical update from the neighbor with health challenges and it’s
quite positive following a doctor visit. I am happy for her and suggest my usual
celebration of any good news – a visit to our nearby ice cream/coffee shop. We’re hoping
for tomorrow, when it might not be raining. The ice cream is severely
interfering with my ability to get into my size 6 and 8 summer shorts, but who
can resist a little celebrating now and then.
Cleaning
the three litter boxes each afternoon is not exactly my favorite job of the day, but it helps
keep my dog away from her disgusting poop eating habit. Plus, if I’m lucky, I’ll
get enough clean urine from pancreatitis cat to check for any diabetes issues
on a human test strip.
That’s
about it for now. It will soon be time for the evening pet feeding, checking in
with everyone electronically and “Dancing with the Stars.” Oh, and I have to try to finalize plans for pet care when I hope to go on vacation for about two whole days later in the month. I had to cut it short by one day because my vet tech caregiver wasn't available.
As I sit here on the
edge of my chair, my elderly cat is taking up most of the seat
cushion but purring contentedly. So retiring
to the Adirondack will have to wait. I think I’ll spoil my dinner with some ice
cream.
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