This is one of my favorite photos of my dad,
taken on Christmas day when he had just
received some new earmuffs. My new pearl
necklace is a nice embellishment.
 

A pearl of wisdom for my father 

I’m approaching a bittersweet birthday this month. It has not escaped my attention that my father was the same age as I will be when he died of lung cancer in 1994.

So when I mark my birthday this year, I will make sure I will continue to try to live as he would have wanted – with meaning, substance and joy and appreciating every day as a gift.

Speaking of gifts, my dad was all about Christmas. He was the first one awake every Christmas morning, making sure Santa had placed our stockings in front of a cozy fire in the fireplace and arranging presents around the tree. There is a photo of my brother and I coming down the stairs on Christmas morning our eyes wide with the realization that Santa had, once again, been very generous.

Dad always gave me a book for my birthday and on Christmas, complete with a few of his wise words on the front page. He knew how important reading was, for education, career and all-out enjoyment and he was so right. I continue to check armloads of books out of the library every year. And my greatest reading achievement to date has been making it through the complete Sherlock Holmes series which dad gave me, a very thick book indeed.

Dad also liked to shop for other Christmas presents on Christmas eve day, and he frequented the Salvation Army store for all sorts of unique finds. I remember one very vibrant gift – a dress tiered in ruffles of many layers – that probably would have worked well for Halloween, but was a bit of a fashion conundrum for a self-conscious teenager.

I always give myself a birthday gift and this year I decided to somehow honor my father in the process. Back in my teen years, one of the most popular gifts among my friends was a single pearl on a necklace. I knew this would be too much to ask for in my single-wage-earner family. Even this year I didn’t know if I could find anything within my very limited non-necessities budget.

But I wandered into a lovely neighborhood gift and floral shop recently and there on a shelf of clearance merchandise I found it – a tiny gold shell with a pearl inside and hanging from a gold chain. It’s from a company that talks about living “simply, to purely focus on the things that matter most. That means listening to your heart following your dreams and finding yourself.”

Those words could have spoken by my dad. And I will remember them whenever I wear “his” necklace.